I sometimes think about all the women I could have been,
At each crossroad of life, their paths split from mine,
And we were forever separated.
I attempt to find them in mirrors,
In the face of that strange backwards girl who looks out at me.
She has no answers,
She is not them.
They are lost to me,
Dwelling invisibly in unspoken words, in unchosen options, in untraveled paths.
Are all the women I could have been braver than me?
They took paths my feet dared not tread,
They uttered words that I tied down with my tongue,
They fought battles I knew could never be won.
What does that then make me?
The wisest of them all?
The victor with spoils?
I am the one in the light,
I am the one still in the fight,
I am the one here raging against the night.
And it’s in my fight against the darkness that I see,
All the women I could have been could never be me.
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